Another week has gone by and there is so much to be thankful for. I love keeping a log in my phone of all the delightful things in a week cause when I look back through them I am reminded of just how Lucky I am to have lived this life. I’m thinking of getting that tattooed one day “What a Lucky Life to Live” a phrase I first said while sitting overtop a beautiful mountain overlook in Puerto Rico. To this day I still find myself saying it in times of great beauty and awe.
So without further ado, a few of the lucky moments from this week.
1.) Reading YouTube comments and discovering the welsh word “Hiraeth” - An earnest longing for a home that no longer exists or never was. A deep and irrational bond felt with a time, era, place or
person.
I was once told you can only experience the world as wide as your vocabulary. I have some thoughts to add to that at a later day, but i do know there is immense joy in finally being able to name a feeling you have been experiencing and knowing you are not alone in that feeling. YouTube comments are a beautiful journal of the ongoing universal human experience. I encourage you to go read a few, specifically underneath that of your favorite music. Also when you get a chance check out The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows.
2.) Abby Holiday’s song - “when we’re far apart i fall apart” The calmness of her voice, the simplicity of this messaging of longing. The “we” is not just one person or place in my life. It’s a combination of people, places, and memories that help me form a connection to my self that is healing.
3.) I started a small project based around black out poems, that I’m not sure where it will go but it’s been helpful in these crazy political times as a way to interact with diverse viewpoints and various news sources.
4.) I had two great job interviews for potential summer guiding work. Still figuring out the path of what I want to do, but as my Dad has taught me “I can’t say no to something that isn’t offered to me.”
6.) At bingo this week I won a box of chocolates (they were a solid 3 stars) but the feeling of getting to yell “BINGO!” Is one of life’s small but mighty joys!
7.) Went on a beautiful hike up in the foothills of Salt Lake to see Jack’s Mailbox. “Jack Edwards was just a toddler when he died of leukemia in 1995. His parents scattered his ashes from a peak above Salt Lake City, where they later placed a memorial. Two mailboxes mark the site, with a notebook that begins with a letter from Jack’s mother: “Please take a moment to say hello to Jackie Jack and write a little (or long) note.” Up there was the inspiration for one of this week’s postcards. I hiked because I knew I just needed to be outside and it would help me get out of my head. I was offered time of peace and reflection before I received a call from a friend in need. Taking care of myself allowed me to show up fully when they called upon me to help. I thank Jack, the mountains, and the gentle breeze for reminding me what’s important amidst a crazy day.
a log entry from jacks mom
pt.2
Marin’s Poem
a cute sloth found
Up above it all
8.) Made some delicious meals this week including Shrimp Scampi, Sweet Potato and Black Bean Tacos and Pasta a la bullshit. The last one is just pasta and whatever vegetables you need to get out of your fridge jazzed up with many spices. Very reminiscent of one of my other favorite meals, when egg prices are manageable) stuff in eggs. :)
9.) Attended some local events including SkiJoring and a winter Artist Market.
Horse
There he go
The art I was most inspired by were these collages by Bri Gawkoski There was one called self portrait that If i see her again I would love to order. Didn’t have my Wallet on me. But a very large reminder to take pictures of yourself from time to time. Have fun with it and explore what you want yourself to be. Very similar to this quote from my uncle:
“Have your picture taken every year in one of those automatic photo booths. Write how you felt at that particular time on the back of them. Were you anxious? Were you in love? Were you broken? Line them up from time to time and realize that you have been through so much. Be proud of what you have accomplished and of the scars you show.”
10.) So many wonderful chats with friends. In person, over the phone, texting here is a small but incomplete list of the lucky souls i got to chat with: Mom, Dad, Jay, Zach, Laura, Rockfish, Claire, Callay, Mitchell, Ethan, Harrison, Marissa, Evans, Simeon, Michael, River and so many more. Thank you to everyone who sent a text or called or even a small email through the week, it was so lovely to hear from you all.
So I guess that’s a good place to end it for this week. Maybe It’ll just be lists of 10 things. Ehh seems to simple and clear cut and I like cHAoS so we shall see what actually happens.
If you want to share some of your delights from this week please send me a note. I would love to celebrate in all the amazing things you got to experience this week.
Ope wait I got two more things hahaha no editing here just consciousness streams!
11.) The Eagles won. So happy for all my Philly friends to get to celebrate with their lovely city once again. :)
WIN!!!
“We have people on the garbage truck”
GMG
12.) I got some new headphones this week! and it’s amazing what I can now hear in the production of songs! Totally uncovered new elements and lyrics in this song I’ve been bopping to.
13.) I ran a half marathon!!! AHHHHHHHHHH I will write more about this later this week but just know it was not in my plans for the week but I feel so so proud of this accomplishment and only a wee-bit sore. Thank you to peach rings and bananas for their support of me through this run.
I want to share with you a song that I have had on repeat for weeks now.
I hope you enjoyed this special special music. This song was first sent to me by the most delightful of friends Megan back in July of last year. Specifically July 28th. Here’s a collection of photographs from that day.
Barnaby’s Cafe
Breakfast With Friends
Come, sit a while
Lizards?
J
Dinosaur Sunset
I look at these photographs and I in many ways see a completely different Dan. All those cliches - “isn’t it funny how day to day nothing changes but looking back everything has?” What an amazing experience he has ahead of him. I hope he can remember that.
Okay, back to the writing. I wanted to break down the lyrics and what they have meant to me. I’ll try to be concise but I’m known for making a short story long. So here it goes:
“There are two of us on the run”
Do you know how the way other people see you is not how you see yourself? I have felt this intensified on my travels (the run). The two people that are running is one that is scared of monotony and stagnation, a fear that is bandaged by adventure and novelty in new experiences, which are of no short supply in a nomadic world, and one who so deeply wants to be interconnected and intertwined in his communities and the lives of the people he loves. A number that only grows with all those that he meets on the road. These two sides of myself are less yin and yang and more two tracks overlaid with volumes constantly in flux. And sometimes while inside the wildest moments of vibrant joy, i hear the siren call of the other side soft and clear, and dream of what could be.
“Going so fast, every doubt we had is coming undone”
For almost all of the past three years I have been in flux. Constantly just moving from one town to the next, one big adventure to the next, one group of friends to the next. When i was moving this quickly there was never really time for doubts. I was blinded by the beauty and excitement of what was in front of me. But any time I sat in one place for a little longer than normal, the doubts would flood back in of “what am i doing? Why am I doing this?” With no imminent distraction, it seemed this dream had spiraled into something even i was unable to rationalize. So i got moving again.
“And falling behind with everything we left there We held on for far too long”
When I started this nomadic life of sorts, I didn’t realize how much i would be leaving behind. I knew there were things I had to leave to become who I am, who I’m proud to be. But there was no way to realize the actual cost of what running would entail. In fact there is no set cost for your dreams, this cost is still accumulating and at times I honestly ask myself if it was all worth it. The missed dinner parties with close friends in favor of awkward strangers at bars. Missing being there for your best friend after a breakup. Or thinking, if I would have stayed, maybe they would still be alive right now… To regret the past is to believe that it would’ve been better the other way and there is no way to know that.
But what I do know is that when i was gearing up to make the decision of leaving, that I held on. Far far far far too long. Trying to think of everything that could happen, so i could brace for impact before evening gettin on the rocket. If you have a dream you are curious about, you must realize that nobody on the other side of the dream has it figured out. Rip out the front seat of your Prius if you need to and listen to Shane Koyczan “The tiniest dream that you try to make happen, is worth more than the biggest dream you never attempt.” Try my dear friends. Whatever it is. Try. And if you need a kick in the butt call me.
“And now we pass so many people on the road
They could come along, I wish they’d been told
They may call it a shot in the dark From what we know, it’s not unheard of”
In my travels there is a phrase that I hear repeated, “I wish I could do what you do.” A lot of the time, I chuckle, knowing that they don’t know what i know. With social media allowing people to make a living traveling and showcasing the “van life” it receives most people don’t realize that the first question i have most morning on the road is, “where am i gonna shit?” More often than not, it’s a cat hole in the rockiest PNW soil imaginable. Makes me miss the days of having a CVS in walking distance from the first camp spot I used in Puerto Rico.
Now, I want people to know that as much as there is unknown. You can do it. Be it traveling, making music, asking that person you like out. You can do it. It will definitely turn out different than you think. Odds are, and I’ve seen this in photography, there will be people with far worse skills “making it” whatever your definition may be. They won the game. And we should celebrate them, art has no room for elitism. But winning this “game” is a shot in the dark, and if you’ve ever wanted to win the lottery, you know the first step is to buy your ticket.
“And we’ll one day tell our story Of how we made something of ourselves now”
In John Green’s review of Auld Lang Syne in his soulful book The Anthropocene Reviewed he writes, “I’ll never speak again to many of the people who loved me into this moment, just as you will never speak to many of the people who loved you into your now. And so we raise a glass to them–and hope that perhaps somewhere, they are raising a glass to us.”
I’m so thankful for all the people that have loved me into this moment. People from my life before I began this crazy adventure and all the people who I have met along the way. Each one added a new part into the stained glass mosaic of me. I wonder what it would be like to reconvene all of them into the same room for a potluck, but i guess that’s just what heaven is.
“So everything else has room to grow ‘Cause in better light, everything changes”
If you’ve ever had a garden or cared for some plants, you know that everything needs space to expand. One of the biggest gifts that these travels have given me is the time to grow. The time to be freely and wholly me exploring the things I’m passionate about. Time is our finite resource and sadly, far too often in my young life, I have been reminded that it is only rolling forward and never guaranteed.
As for the light… I encourage you to start walking around with a camera every where you go. See how a mundane scene can be elevated when the only thing that changes is the light that is around it. A reminder that we need to go places where we are celebrated.
“So we can one day tell our story Of how we made something of ourselves now”
You can only tell it’s a sign by looking back. Unless you run full speed into one.
“There’s no race, there’s only a runner
Just keep one foot in front of the other There’s no race there’s only a runner 1, 2, 3 even when you get tired Just keep one foot in front of the other There’s no race, no ending in sight No second too short, no window too tight”
When I first listened to this song on top of that parking garage in Houston moments after Saying thank you to Terry and his flashlight (the sun), this was the line that stuck out the most.
The races we make for ourselves or allow ourselves to be entrapped inside of are the same one’s that will drive us insane when we don’t reach the arbitrary finish line that’s been concocted. When was the last time you did something just for the sake of the experience of being present. For no productive gains? I don’t want to confuse you and think that I’m saying having goals is a bad thing, I just want you to first fall in love with the process. You were born to run, to dance, to sing along whatever trails beckon to your heart. And I hope that you see the vibrant petals and smell the heavenly fragrance of the wildflowers along your path. It is unique only to you.
As i learned in my many years marching with The Cadets “Are you really gonna let 8 people in green polos tell you the meaning behind your last 90 days?”
“Just turn off the lights when you leave
‘Cause we’ve got everything we’re gonna need”
Whenever you decide to leap, say thank you to everything that lead you to this moment. Know you will be different when you return, even if it seems that nothing has changed for those that stayed. And trust that anything you need to learn you’ll figure out along the way. It’s easier to learn how to dodge a punch when you’re in the ring.
“We’re on the run, we’re on the run, we’re on the run child We gotta run, we gotta run, we gotta run child”
Whatever it is that beckons you, you gotta keep trying.
“One day tell our story Of how we made something of ourselves now”
You can only tell it’s a sign by looking back. Unless you run full speed into one.
“One day tell our story Of how we made something We made something of ourselves”
This life has given me enough stories that I’m convinced my children will never believe my dad lore. To convince them is one of the reasons I’m compelled to photograph so many moments, keep an inconsistent journal, and add to my structureless brain dumping notes app. All of these catalogues of me help me in connecting the dots of my story. A story that I’m not sure society would agree adds up to me having made something of myself now, but I know one thing; I am kind. And it’s my biggest hope that my resonant song is still reverberating, making new chords across the planet in ways I couldn’t have imagined.
I have felt lucky to begin my last three New Years with adventures. Twice I have celebrated by running Lava Falls (the biggest rapid on the Grand Canyon) amidst some of the best people I have come to meet on this planet. Last year it was the start of my 100 day adventure in Central America that led me to 5 countries and countless new friendships. These adventures have been a shot of hope allowing me to confidently walk into the uncertainty of the incoming year. A memory that I can return to as the as the worries piled on.
However, just like in those previous three years, as the year progresses the shot of hope wears down and worries have begun to pile on alongside the growing gray despair of clouds hugging the earth. January becomes less about a new beginning and more about “oh not again…” and. This feeling was perfectly captured yesterday in this this Reel I shared to my instagram story:
Luckily we have now passed that great threshold that holds us captive from the hopeful spring months, but oh my IT’S ONLY February!?!? How can so much happen in just one month?!? Especially so much bad…
America is falling more and more from being a world leader to world laughing stock as we become everything we fought so hard against. The ideals that i thought were self-evident “that all men are created equal, endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness?” are failing here at home. It feels to me as if our President has decided that “the only people who are people are the people who look and think like him.” and because of this faux leadership I now have friends that are worried about the security of their future rights to marry who they love. I have friends who have lost job offers to work selflessly (and severely underpaid) inside our national parks. And I see many people, myself included, who are worried about the treatment of their neighbors and family members who primarily speak any language that isn’t English. I have so many questions that I would want to ask the other side but it really comes down “What are you so afraid of that when you see people living joyous and lovingly you feel pulled closer to hatred instead of love?”
I’m working hard at reminding myself that I have to see the joys. I have to be like Waymond in Everything Everywhere All at Once so that even when “You tell me it’s a cruel world, and we’re all just running around in circles. I know that. I’ve been on this earth as many days as you. When I choose to see the good side of things, I’m not being naive. This is how I fight.”
And my friends there is so much to fight for. I have been keeping a log of my delights this week and while I was gonna wait til Monday to share, it felt right to share them now. This is what I’m fighting for:
Anytime adults go about playing like kids. Like at the see-saw where I happened to be journaling on Wednesday.
When a friend is vulnerable to share what is going on in their life. As i learned from Simon Sinek, I would feel hurt if you robbed me of the chance to take care of you.
Listening to Woods by Bon Iver as a great loop. I think it was a YouTube comment that recommended i first open up woods in like 10 tabs and listen to it by starting to play each tab at a slightly different time. That first time was amazing and I have since returned to this at times of needing peace. I would also recommend once upon another time by Sara bareills for this. Do you have any recommendations?
Reconnecting with people i thought I wouldn’t be talking to possibly ever again. I can’t say for everyone that you need to reach out and mend hurt relationships, but if that pull is strong enough, I think you should.
Sitting down for dinner of Pasta and vegetables and Harrison pointed out the orchid that had just bloomed
Calling my friends Livia and Devin in the same day!
The Utah Symphony Orchestra playing Rite of Spring by Stravinsky and Desert Music by Steve Reich
I watched interstellar and will write more about my feelings about that soon… ish… lots to unpack
Ran around with Harrison and saw many fun little free libraries and even this weird pigeon wearing a hat
I got to spend so much time creating postcards and other art projects. :)
I went to art galleries that made let me see how people of all cultures and backgrounds are expressing themselves and their beauty in this tumultuous time. Recommendations include: atis rezistans ghetto biennale/Salt 16/Portrait of Ross
Adult Children
Tres Steins
Salt 16
Untitled
The secret to art is…
Border - Kendra Nuttall
Okay - Lucas Figun Westbrook
I believe In corn Dogs
Two goobers
I know these things aren’t direct action in the fight against the growing oppression and uncertainty of our future. But if I don’t choose to see the good, I will lose all energy to keep fighting. As my best friend Jay has told me. “The best form of protest is to LIVE.” So please live your truth. However that may manifest itself. Go find the places where you are celebrated, not just tolerated, and please never accept shame from others for being the loving person you are. From there we will organize our love and continue to uplift our communities. It’s only February. How will you answer this question?
“In the alley, there is a bright pink flower peeking out through the asphalt.
A: it looks like futility,
B: it looks like hope.”
- Amy Krause Rosenthal
I will forever choose B. I hope you do to and that you share it with me.
I love you,
Dan Regalado
P.S - If you’re having a hard time in uncomfortable conversations with people who differ from you, or are looking for some helpful frameworks of how to move into the unknown of our current times, I recommend the following books:
